Firstlife Read online

  Kayla beats me to him. She knocks him down, whimpering and clinging to his back, even upon impact. He reaches back to grab her by the hair, but I latch on to his wrist before he's able to make contact with her.

  Anger burns me while desperation cools me off. I'm one hundred percent conflicted about my next actions. Even still, I yank, pull the man out from under her and stomp on his head until he's as limp as spaghetti noodles.

  I'm panting as I approach Kayla. "You all right?"

  "Yeah," she says, but she doesn't meet my eyes. "I think so."

  I maintain my calm facade as I look back at Reed. His opponent is motionless, as well. He's crouched beside the tongueless boy, who is just as motionless. Hemorrhaged already?

  All for nothing! my mind screams.

  I lift a mental chin. Salvaging my conscience--worth it. Worth all this.

  The prisoners in the cages are buoyed and cheer for us, even when we shhhh them.

  "If another guard comes, I won't have a chance to free you," I say, and finally they go quiet.

  I work on a lock for one minute, two, the seconds agony, but there's no keyhole and I can't find another way.

  "I'm sorry," I say. I have to get Reed and Kayla to safety. "I'll come back."

  Next move?

  Five times four times three, and that is where he'll be.

  I do the math. Five times four is twenty and twenty times three is sixty. Sixty and that's where he'll be. He who?

  Since Lina created the song especially for me, she would have known which wall I'd end up climbing when the guards arrived. She would have known my instincts. And my instincts are screaming to climb up sixty flights of cages.

  I hate my instincts. "Climb," I say, returning to the spot I abandoned.

  Kayla moans, shakes her head. "I don't think I can."

  "Don't think, do." A motivational speaker I'm not. "It's the only way."

  "You can do it," Reed tells her, giving her a boost. "You will."

  We begin to climb...and climb...and Reed and I have to pull Kayla up several flights. A few times, one of the prisoners gathers the strength to grab hold of one of us and beg for help. Once again, I'm struck by the need to do what I can. I want to do something so badly I'm crying by the time we reach the thirtieth level. Only halfway. These people, they are emaciated, and they are filthy. They are injured and without hope. Every so often I stop to try to unlatch a few of the locks, but each time I fail, and it zaps even more of my strength.

  Two I'll save, I'll be brave, brave, brave.

  Right. Stick to the plan. Get Reed and Kayla to safety, come back for the others.

  By the fortieth flight, I'm shaking uncontrollably. By the fiftieth, I'm ready to give up. I give myself a pep talk. Been through worse, but came out stronger on the other side. So close to the end of the song--to victory.

  At the sixtieth level--I did it, I really did it!--my happiness is short-lived. I find myself staring into Killian's eyes.

  Horror fills me, but so does elation, and I gasp his name. "What are you doing here?"

  He grabs hold of the bars, his dirty fingers ghosting through mine. He's still in his Shell, a shiny golden collar wrapped around his neck, but I'm a spirit. "You died. How did you die? Damn it, Ten. I wanted you to live."

  "Not my fault. My aunt kind of murdered me." Enough about me! "How are you here? You--"

  "When did you sign with Myriad?" he demands.

  "I didn't. You--"

  "You must have. You're in the outermost part of the realm. The Kennel."

  "No. And stop interrupting me!" Desperation gives my tone a sharper edge. "I'm in the Realm of Many Ends, same as you, and I want to know how you got here."

  "This is Myriad, lass."

  The two are connected through the lake?

  "How do I get you out of here, Killian? Help me help you. Please."

  A feminine hand shoots out the cage next to his, and Elena says, "You're the one I blame for this."

  Zero! I can't leave without her, either.

  "She isn't to blame." More agitated by the second, Killian says, "You need to leave, Ten. Keep climbing. There are only twenty levels to go, and you'll reach the top."

  Only twenty? I whimper. "I'm not leaving without you. Reed! Kayla! Help me free him."

  As we work (unsuccessfully) at the lock, Killian scrubs a hand down his face. "The Realm of Many Ends is connected to Myriad. I'd heard rumors, but I never believed them. How could I be so blind? But it makes sense, doesn't it? Why else would Myriad say it's better to remain Unsigned than to sign with Troika?"

  "Let's worry about that later. For now, shut up and help me."

  He reaches through the bars. "No. You need to leave--"

  "Ten four." Reed starts climbing again. "I don't need to be told more than twice."

  Killian's golden eyes beseech me. "At the top go left, left, right, left, right and kill anyone who gets in your way. Don't hesitate. You follow those directions and you'll reach a shimmery doorway. When we pass through it, we're taken to the Land of the Harvest. Because your spirits are unbound, I'm not sure where you'll end up."

  Any place is better than this one, but I vehemently shake my head. "I told you I'm not leaving without you, and I meant it. You either, Elena." Hurried, a bit clumsy now, I wind the wire from my bracelet around the metal lock and begin sawing. Sparks fly.

  "We'll be let out soon enough." He traces a fingertip over my knuckles. "We always are. You need to go."

  "I'm making progress at last."

  "Not fast enough."

  He's tearing me up inside. "Killian, I can't--"

  "You can. You will."

  "Unless you're captured today, so you don't have time for this," Elena interjects. "Just do what he says."

  Even as I shudder, the last of the song plays through my head. Two I must save, I'll be brave, brave, brave. The one I adore, I'll come back for.

  Lina foresaw even this. She knew the difficult situation I would face.

  There isn't another way, is there? "Okay. All right," I say, the words yanked out of me. "I'll go. I hate this, but I'll go." I unwind the wire as tears stream down my cheeks. "I don't believe in fate, but I think I believe in destiny." The path set before me, if only I make the right decisions. "I'm coming back for you."

  He looks at me as if he wants to grip the back of my neck and kiss me. "The Generals now agree with Pearl. You're better off dead than signed with Troika. But if you sign with Myriad, Ten, you'll be one of us. You'll be protected. And you and I...we can be together."

  I want that. I want to be with him. He isn't a boy, he's a warrior. He isn't someone I can push around, and I'm glad for that. When he looks at me, he sees who I am and he isn't scared. Because we're a match. We burn together--and he only wants me to burn hotter.

  He'll walk through hell for me. I have no doubts about that. And I'll walk through hell for him. But I'm not signing with Myriad. This? These cages? They seal the deal.

  I have to find another way to be with him.

  "I'm coming back for you," I repeat. As I climb away from him, I'm sobbing, but I do what needs doing. I keep going, my determination giving me enough strength to heft Kayla up whenever she slips.

  Finally we reach the top, and Reed, who is waiting for us, hauls us onto a stone walkway. Stone above, beside and below us. Every stone carved into the shape of a human skull. Empty eye sockets seem to follow me as I stumble forward, taking the lead. Left, left. Right. My knees shake. In this hallway, skeletons hang from the ceiling, each draped in a violet robe.

  Troikan robes?

  When we take the next left, strange symbols glowing on the walls, an alarm screeches to life.

  Zero! We've been found out.

  It isn't long before a stampede of footsteps sounds behind us. I glance over my shoulder as guards hustle around the corner. Six of them.

  "Go, go," I tell my charges. "I'll divert our tail."

  Kayla reaches for me. "No! We do this together."


  "Reed," I say, and he understands.

  He jerks her to his side, forcing her to keep pace with him. They make the next right, disappearing from my view.

  I stop and spin, facing the guards as they barrel toward me. I'll fight to Second-death if necessary, but these men aren't getting past me.

  A second later, the guards reach me and--

  chapter twenty-six

  "Today you live, tomorrow you die. Make what you do in the meantime matter."

  --Troika

  I jerk upright, my eyelids flipping open. Archer is standing beside me, holding my hand.

  Relief bathes his features as he clutches my hand to his chest. "You're alive. You're going to be okay."

  "Where am I?" My voice is a foggy rasp. I'm panting, my skin clammy. I'm also dizzy and weak. "Where's Kayla? Reed?"

  He forces me to recline on a mound of pillows. "Let's start with you. You're in a Troikan safe house."

  Another safe house...in a bedroom that's been turned into a makeshift trauma ward. Different machines circle us, some of them beeping in tune to my heart. Monitors are anchored to the walls, flashing numbers and symbols I've never seen.

  "Kayla and Reed are in Troika, thanks to you," Archer says with a bright smile. "You saved them."

  "No." I shake my head. "Killian. Killian saved them. But...how did you find them?"

  "They passed through a veil in Myriad and their spirits ended up in the Land of the Harvest. They were screaming for help, and a TL happened to be nearby. The two pledged allegiance to Troika, a bond formed and the TL was able to escort them into the realm."

  There's hope, then. There's hope for the Unsigned, even after they die. They can be saved! They just have to find their way out of Many Ends...out of Myriad.

  I shudder. "Killian needs our help. He's trapped."

  "You're in no condition--"

  "I don't care. I have to go back for him. They put him in the Kennel, Archer. A dog cage." I bite back a sob. "I have to go back."

  "You won't do anyone any good until you've regained your strength." He releases my hand only long enough to pull a chair to the side of the bed. "Your aunt killed you."

  "Yeah. I remember." And wow. My throat hurts. I reach up, my hand trembling, and pat my neck. There's a thick bandage covering the hole the pointy end of the paintbrush left behind. When my shoulder gives out, my arm falls uselessly to the mattress.

  Zero! Archer's right. I'm no good to Killian in this condition. To navigate the Realm of Many Ends, to climb those cages and race through Myriad, I have to be at my best. They'll be prepared next time, waiting and watching for me.

  Even still, my sense of urgency doesn't fade.

  "Besides," he says, "you owe me big-time. I saved your life. And guess what I want in return? For you to stay in bed until you are fully recovered."

  Rat. He asks too much of me. "How did you find me?"

  "I received a message from someone who knew my rank and ID. This someone mentioned 10:17 on November 12 and a girl who dies at the crack house. I decided to check things out and found your body in a pool of blood."

  "Lina sent you a message?"

  "That's my guess."

  "But how did she get your rank and ID? How did she get the equipment she needed?"

  "Those are excellent questions she refuses to answer."

  Well...maybe I already know the answers. Loony Lina isn't so loony, after all. She isn't polyfused but gifted. She saw into the future. She knew how to navigate two realms. "Where is she now?"

  "Here. Locked up in the bedroom next door. She won't hurt you again."

  She hurt me, yes, but she also contacted Archer so that he could save me. Right now, I don't know what to think about her. "How long have I been out?"

  "Only two days."

  Only? That's forty-eight hours Killian and Elena have spent inside their cages. If they haven't been freed. They seemed to think they'd be released sooner rather than later.

  "Have you heard from Killian?" I ask.

  "No."

  So he hasn't been freed. My stomach sinks.

  "Levi came here," Archer says, "shared his Lifeblood with you--it's stronger than mine and it kept your body alive while your spirit was in Many Ends."

  "And Myriad. Archer, Many Ends is connected to Myriad."

  He worries two fingers over the golden shadow beard on his jaw. "I know. Reed told me. All Troika is shocked, and all Myriad is denying the boy's claim. The realm doesn't want us to know they have access to the spirits of the Unsigned. Probably because they don't want us to know what they do to the spirits of the Unsigned."

  Well, Killian knows the truth now. He'll set the record straight. Once he's free. I have to free him. "There are so many spirits locked in cages...not to mention the spirits being used as living bird food." And worse!

  "I know that, too. The kids told us everything they'd been through."

  "I have to help them. All of them." But now that I'm away from the Kennels and my adrenaline's on simmer, the task suddenly strikes me as impossible. Since I won't sign with Myriad, I'll have to remain Unsigned to enter Many Ends again. And next time, I'll have more people to find and free, monster birds and nightmare gorillas to fight. They won't give up their stashes of human-candy easily.

  So the question is: Do I go ahead and sign with Troika?

  I want to, it's how I was leaning before this, but if I go that route, I may not be able to find another way inside Many Ends. And I haven't yet gotten a very necessary promise from Archer. A promise he may not give me.

  I want him to save Killian from Myriad's wrath.

  "Sign with Troika, Ten." Archer must be reading my thoughts on my face. His stare turns mean. "We'll find a way to save the spirits in Many Ends. Together."

  "Can we? The only way I know to do that is to experience Firstdeath again and have you bring me back." The risk! One day, my body won't recover.

  "We'll find another way."

  I want to trust him. I do. I didn't trust him in Prynne, and I didn't trust him when my father came storming into my room, and yet he came through for me anyway.

  "Will you save Killian from Myriad's wrath? Because they've tied his life to my decision. If I sign with Troika, he dies."

  Archer closes his eyes. "I can't. I can't get inside Myriad, and that's where they'll keep him."

  "Then I'm going to remain Unsigned a little longer."

  Now he glares at me. "Just because we can't see the solution doesn't mean there's no solution at all."

  "You make a good point, but I'm weak, and this isn't the time to make a life-altering decision."

  "There's no better time." But he sighs and mercifully changes the subject. "How about a celebratory poem?"

  "You'd like it to rhyme, I'm guessing."

  "Only because I deserve the best."

  Ha! "If there's one thing I know, it's this. When I was dead, I was missed. You, Archer Prince, think I'm great, so much better than the numbers six, seven, eight. Even nine! Because it's time, it's time, it's time you faced facts--life without me seriously lacks. And before you get huffy and try to deny it, there's something I should probably admit. I guess I love you, even though you're a pain. But I'm pretty sure that means...I'm completely insane."

  *

  In an effort to rebuild my stamina, I walk the treadmill for ten minutes...twenty... All the while, I peer out the window. At the trees swaying in a strong breeze, at the sun shining over rolling hills. I want to be standing in a warm, golden ray--crave it. Actually, I want to be kissing Killian in a warm, golden ray.

  I have to leave this safe house, and soon.

  Two days have passed since I first woke in bed, and still there's been no sign of Killian or Elena. My frustration level is nearing detonation.

  "Zero!" I punch the console, causing the machine to speed up.

  Oops. Detonation achieved.

  "Temper much?" Deacon strides into the gym, a built-on room at the back of the house, spacious but crammed with equipm
ent. He's wearing a skintight shirt, his jeans ripped and his combat boots caked in mud. He crosses his arms over the monitor on the treadmill.

  "Yes." I slow the speed so I won't be quite so winded during our conversation. "How are Kayla and Reed?"

  "They're good. They've entered training to become Laborers."

  They're both cautionary tales for the hazards of remaining Unsigned, so they should excel at their new jobs. Then again, there are morons like me...

  I can't let go of my desire to return to Many Ends and save the spirits still trapped. I can't let go of Killian.

  "You want to know who isn't doing so well?" he continues. "Sloan. She's missing. Has been since we split after the party."

  Oookay. Way to stop me in my tracks. I punch the proper button and the tread slows even more...stops...and the incline lowers. I grab my towel and dab at my sweaty brow. "How does Archer always find me? Do that. Find her." I don't like that she's missing.

  "You called for him. She hasn't called for me."

  Right. "I think she planned to go home to finally torch her family's estate. Have you looked there?"

  His nod is clipped. "First place I checked."

  Zero!

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  In unison, we turn toward the north wall. The wall blocking us from Lina--Aunt Lina or Loony Lina?

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  I've seen her only once since leaving my sickbed, but she didn't even realize I was in the room, stared past me when I gripped her shoulders and shouted, "Why? How could you do that to me?" I left unsatisfied and angry.

  "Want me to check on her?" he asks.

  "No. I'll do it. Then we'll search for Sloan. And Killian," I add quietly. "Together."

  He grunts. Not an agreement but not a rejection, either.

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  Resigned, I stalk down the hall. At the end is Lina's room, the wall in front of me no longer made of plaster but of bulletproof glass. Amazing what kind of repairs and changes these Laborers can make in a short amount of time. Lina is pacing, her hands wringing together. She's been bathed--a female Laborer showed up yesterday not just to feed her one of those glorious mouth strips but to brush and braid her hair and change her clothes. She's now wearing a pretty pink dress with ruffles.

  I place my hand on the ID panel. A laser shines between my fingers, warm to my skin. The lock on the door opens, followed by the door itself. I step inside, and Lina instantly calms.

  "You shouldn't have trusted her," she says.