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  "I feel you," he gasps out. "The heat of you...it's so good."

  Unable to sit still, I move against him, actually grinding on him. He leans forward, pressing his chest against mine, and my back arches until I accidentally hit the wheel. The horn gives a short but loud blast.

  I chuckle. He chuckles. Then the ground beneath the car shakes, and he breaks from me. His hands tremble as he smooths the hair from my cheeks. His eyes are glassy, his pupils so enlarged his golden irises are almost completely eclipsed.

  When he manages to catch his breath, he says, "We don't have time for this. Archer and friends are fighting Pearl, trying to stop her from tracking you. They've lost a Conduit, the light in their realm dangerously dim. They are now doubly determined to save and recruit you."

  I'm struck anew by the knowledge that so much happens in the worlds and the realms, so much I can't see and don't realize.

  "Besides," he adds, "I don't want our first time to be in a car."

  We are cramped and anyone can approach the windows, attack us while we're distracted.

  "Since our first time will be my first time ever," I say, my cheeks beginning to burn, "I agree the car isn't the best choice."

  He presses his forehead against mine. "You're just making things harder for me. And I mean that in multiple ways."

  I snort-laugh, killing the illusion I'm cool about the subject, and return to my seat. The pressure to make a decision has never been stronger. I'll save Killian, or I'll save a realm. But I'm beginning to suspect I finally know the right path for me.

  chapter twenty-three

  "Fight for us, and we'll fight for you. Fight against us and you'll lose."

  --Myriad

  Lina is waiting for me at the door of her house, a small but well-kept bungalow with white shutters and blue trim. Quaint and utterly perfect. As a little girl, I sometimes dreamed of living here. Uncle Tim, her husband, allowed Lina and me to put bows in his hair and paint his nails.

  Of course, Uncle Tim eventually ran off with another woman, divorcing Lina and her crazy ways.

  Porch light shines over her, illuminating dark hair and a pretty face aged by worry. This is Aunt Lina!

  Killian puts the car in Park and latches on to my hand before I can jump out. "I got you a present." He reaches into the glove box, withdraws two leather wrist cuffs. "I know how much you loved your old pair."

  "Killian! Thank you!" Grinning, I hug them before snapping them in place. "I did love them."

  "That smile... I swear it's going to haunt me for eternity." He sighs. "I'm not going in with you. I have to destroy the car."

  I don't like the thought of being without him, even for a second, but I nod. There's no time to waste.

  "I'll miss you," he says, and there's something about his tone. An emotion I've never heard him use before. "Will you miss me?"

  "Very much." I lean over and press a hard, demanding kiss onto his lips, tasting him one more time, letting him taste me. "Hurry back."

  When I pull back, his hand snakes around the back of my neck to hold me captive. "The things I feel for you come without conditions, too."

  I give him a dreamy smile before hustling outside. The cool of the night embraces me as I run toward the woman I've missed more than air. Tears burn the backs of my eyes when she meets me halfway, throwing her arms around me.

  "Ten! I'm so glad you're okay. I knew something was wrong when your dad refused to give me the name and address of the boarding school you were supposedly attending, but I had no idea...not until the girl, Elena, came to see me."

  Boarding school. That's what he told family and friends? "I was in prison, Aunt Lina, but I'm okay now. I'm actually kind of grateful for the experience." I'm stronger, and I have the answers I've always craved. The direction. Killian. Archer.

  "Come on." She draws me into the house, one of her arms remaining locked around my shoulders. "Elena said you have a tracker inside you. I need to--"

  "Yes. Killian told me. Though I don't know how it's possible."

  "I'll explain when we're in the shed." Aunt Lina leads me past the cozy living room with the floral-print couch, lacy doilies and cat figurines, past the kitchen with yellow linoleum and chipping and peeling cabinets, then into the backyard, where a wooden shed consumes half the space.

  Inside it, I grind to a halt. This is a serial killer's wet dream. Sharp, shiny tools hang from the walls. There's a gurney with straps awaiting a prisoner.

  "Do you trust me?" she asks.

  "Yes." Of course. Maybe. Probably. Zero! Way to test my limits.

  "I've worked for Myriad for twenty-two years. I've heard things...seen things. I know what I'm doing, honey. Lie on the gurney. Please."

  I hesitate. "Will you get into trouble for this?"

  "Nah. Who can prove I did it? Anyway, some things are worth the risk and you, my dear, are one of them."

  I hope you're worth it. How many times have I heard those words lately?

  I think back. Three. Three times. Not as many as I would have guessed. Still. A lot of people have gone to a lot of trouble for me, and what have I done in return?

  My stomach roils as I do as commanded.

  "This is for your own good." She binds my wrists and ankles.

  I don't protest. Considering everything Vans did to me, my silence is a huge deal.

  She bustles here and there, gathering everything she needs before she comes up beside me. "Once the tracker has been removed, I'm going to take you to a safe house. Human, not Myriadian and not Troikan."

  Leave? "Does Killian know the address?" Does he know where to go if he returns and I'm gone?

  "I told him. Well, I told the girl, Elena."

  Elena better not "forget" to tell him. Or betray me. Ugh. So much rides on a girl I don't like!

  "All right. Moment of truth." With a flick of her wrist, Aunt Lina angles an oval-shaped glass over my forehead. "You might want to close your eyes for this."

  "No, I'm good."

  "Okay then." A bright light clicks on, and oh, wow, in an instant my corneas feel as if they've been doused in bleach.

  I close my eyes. Heat strokes me as she runs it over every inch of me.

  "Let's try this again." This time, she stops at my left hipbone, where I've been burning since Levi shared his light with me. "Aha. Found you!"

  The tracker, I'm guessing, and I guess I don't really have to wonder who or why or how. Anytime I acted up--and a few times just for fun--Vans injected me with sedatives. Oh, and we can't forget the handful of times he beat me unconscious. Pearl must have paid him.

  A sense of betrayal and violation overwhelms me.

  I hear a gurgle and figure Aunt Lina is slathering her hands with liquid latex. Once it dries, she rucks my dress to my chin and lifts a syringe filled with neon blue liquid. "This will numb you so I can make the necessary incisions."

  "If I'll be numbed, why am I bound?"

  "These types of devices cause a certain...mental reaction." She rubs me with antiseptic. A sharp sting slowly fades as she injects me. "You can open your eyes now. The light is directed on the site, not your face."

  I watch as she picks up a scalpel and cuts into my hip with a steady hand. I watch, untouched by pain, as blood pours out of me. I missed the insertion, so there's no way I'm missing the extraction.

  She sprays something clear into the wound and the bleeding stops. With the glass in front of her--the light illuminating my hip--she picks up what looks to be a pair of tweezers and slips the tips inside my wound. Again, there's no pain, but I do feel pressure.

  Though her wrist is steady, the tool moves. A slight motorized buzz that fills my ears.

  "Get ready," she says. "I've almost got--"

  Click.

  The muscles in my abdomen clench, and I cramp, but it's nothing I can't handle.

  The sound of the motor intensifies as Aunt Lina leans over to grab a pair of surgical scissors with her free hand. The moment she makes the first snip, a cool flood swe
eps through me. An avalanche that gains speed and power as it moves, before finally stopping inside my mind.

  Why is she removing the tracker? I don't want it removed. I want to keep it forever and ever and ever. "Aunt Lina. You have to stop."

  "Can't do that, sweetheart." Another snip.

  I pull at my bonds. When I fail to gain my freedom, I arch my back and twist to the side, willing to do anything to get those stupid scissors out of me. "You have to stop. Okay? All right? I need to be tracked. I want to be. It's important."

  "I want you to be still."

  I only struggle harder.

  Expression resigned, she climbs on the table and straddles me, digging the scissors in deeper. Frantic, I buck my hips and wrench my arms. What will it take to make her understand? I'll die without the tracker. It's a part of me. It's the best part. "If you do this, I'll hate you forever. Please. Just stop. Please."

  "No, you won't hate me. In just a few seconds, you'll love me." Sweat trickles from her temple as she pulls the light back into position under eyes and snips, snips. "Just one more to go..." Snip. "Got it!"

  She lifts the scissors to reveal a capsule pulsing with neon red liquid, wires sticking out of its belly like spider legs.

  "That's mine. Put it back where it belongs." My voice is a guttural snarl now.

  I blink rapidly as the fog inside my mind thins. Wait. I begged to keep the tracker? "Are you freaking kidding me!"

  "A drug," she explains. "We call it Special K."

  "K?"

  "K is for keeps." She giggles like a schoolgirl, and I have to cut back a groan.

  How close is Loony Lina from taking over?

  She climbs off me and drops the capsule into a jar of thick black goo. "All right. Time to go." As she unstraps me, my core temperature begins to rise, the rush of cold abandoning me.

  After she glues my flesh together and places a bandage over the wound, she helps me stand. My dress falls back into place. She moves the gurney aside by cranking an old, rusty lever, revealing a concrete floor with a drain. Only, the drain is a dial she fits her fingers on, turning this way and that, causing one of the cement cracks to expand, creating an opening just large enough for me to wiggle through, my feet balanced on stairs.

  A dog barks in the distance. The sound of breaking glass provides terrible background music.

  "I'm going to take a wild guess. They're here," she says.

  She throws a backpack at me, and I fall as I release the ladder to catch it. Landing hurts, air gushing from my lungs. She climbs down, stopping to reach up and do the dial thing again. The cement closes, darkness falling over us.

  A rustle of clothing. A brush against my shoulder, and I know she's standing beside me.

  "Come on." Her voice reverberates on walls I can't see.

  I can't even see my hand in front of my face. Drip, drip. I anchor the backpack in place and extend my arms to feel my way to...wherever. Contact. Cold, hard stone. Under my fingertips, a soft glow comes to sudden life.

  "Oh, yeah. Forgot about those," she says, moving in front of me. "Oh, and we have to be quiet. They can hear us."

  "Then stop talking," I whisper.

  "Right." She runs a finger over her lips, pretending to zip them shut.

  I touch another spot on the wall and more light springs up. We're in a small four-by-four room, empty but for dust and stagnant pools of water. Wait! There's a crawl space in the right corner.

  She zooms in on it, and I stay right on her heels, different sounds floating to me. Toppling furniture. Falling tools. Footsteps. My aunt's shed is being ransacked.

  Pearl's orders, I'm sure.

  As we come out the other side of the crawl space, I dig through the pack, searching for a weapon. I find a cell phone, bandages, a bottle of water, protein bars, a change of clothes, a pair of shoes in my size and a gun with a clip of ammo--yes! I sheath the gun at my waist and stuff the clip in my pocket. The effort pulls at my newest wound, a warm cascade of blood trickling down my leg.

  We've entered another black hole. I press my palm against the wall, hoping--yes! A soft glow saves me from curling into a ball and sobbing. We're not in a room this time, but a narrow tunnel. I straighten to full height and race forward, still following after my aunt. The more ground we gain, the shorter the roof gets, and soon we're both hunched over.

  She giggles again, and I groan. No Loony Lina. Please, please, no Loony Lina. Not now.

  A quiet squeak is the only warning I have before three rats dart in our direction. While she waves at the things, I have to bite my fist to silence a scream as they pass me. Then I have to concentrate on bladder control as I wonder what they were running from.

  Can't stop. Have to keep going.

  The tunnel twists and turns for miles, surely. The water level rises to our ankles. And it reeks. Oh, zero, it freaking reeks. I gag when a dead frog floats past me. Are there now different strains of bacteria and other microscopic beings crawling all over my skin?

  I kind of wish I'd stayed in that shed to fight to the death.

  If I'm splashing around in used toilet water, I might kill myself.

  Finally the water thins and the tunnel expands, allowing us to stretch to our full heights once again. When we reach a dead end, I laugh without humor. Oh, irony, you nasty whore. You've struck again.

  Wait! There's another crawl space in the corner. Aunt Lina shimmies through and again I'm right on her tail. We enter another four-by-four room with stairs that lead to a drain in the ceiling...and another drain. She climbs up, up...and reaches for another drain/dial thing.

  She turns her wrist to the right, the left, then the right again and the drain turns with her. Success! A new crawl through opens up.

  "Why do you have this passage?" I whisper. "How?"

  "Always knew we'd need it," she says. "Knew where to live, knew when and how to dig into tunnels that already existed. They go all over the city. Troikans built them centuries ago!"

  So how does she, a Myriad loyalist, know about them?

  She disappears over the top. I climb the ladder. My biceps strain and my calves burn as I hoist myself into a bathroom--with three people inside.

  I reach for the gun even as I take stock. Two males, one female. One of the men is asleep on top of the woman, who is also asleep. Both are covered in dried vomit. The third occupant is slumped against the wall and watching me through slitted lids. He doesn't appear worried (or interested) by our sudden appearance or my gun. There are empty syringes all over the floor, and a tourniquet is still tied to the watcher's arm. Drool leaks from the corners of his mouth.

  No question, this is a drug house. I sheath the gun as Aunt Lina turns the drain, ensuring the cement closes and no one can crawl through.

  "Change," she says, and starts stripping. There's a pile of clothes already waiting for her.

  Right. We'll draw far too much attention in our fecal-is-the-new-black outfits.

  We toss our soiled garments in the trash and shimmy into the clean clothes, mine coming from the pack. I'm unconcerned by my audience, certain Drool Man won't remember us, anyway--if he even knows we're here. As we head for the door, I notice the numbers painted all over the walls, different math problems written over and over again, every single one equaling ten. This can't be a coincidence.

  "Come on." Lina tugs me to the door. She turns the knob and we enter a hallway. The lights are switched off, the space dim, but I can see multiple people sitting or lying throughout. Smoke wafts through the air, tickling my nose. I hold my breath as long as I can, preferring to leave sober. No one attacks us, at least.

  I quicken my step, uneasy, and find the living room, the way out. There are more people here, some lucid, most snoring. Aunt Lina doesn't head for the front door but picks up a paintbrush from the floor, throwing fuel on my unease. She moves to the wall to trace the tip of the brush along one of the math problems, which equals ten.

  "Lina," I say softly.

  "You died." Her voice is highe
r, making her sound as if she's around five years old. Dang it! Not now! "I was sad."

  Determined, I walk over and clasp onto her wrist. "Lina," I say as gently as I'm able. "We need to leave."

  "You died." She faces me, but her eyes stare at nothing. "I was sad."

  "I'm alive. I'm here, and I want to leave this place with you."

  "You died," she repeats, and I'm not sure she's talking to me or to herself. "I killed you. I'm sorry." Then she slams the tip of her paintbrush into my jugular.

  chapter twenty-four

  "Just because you can't see us, doesn't mean we're not there."

  --Troika

  At first, I'm too shocked to react. And I think my adrenaline is too high, whatever drugs Aunt Lina used on me still numbing me. But the "this can't be happening, I don't feel a thing" sensation doesn't last long.

  My neck is suddenly on fire.

  Pain shoots through me, buckling my knees. Loony Lina maneuvers me to the ground while I gasp for breath I can't catch.

  "You sang it. Don't you remember? You sang it, and you saved them."

  My wild gaze circles the room. Help me!

  She sings, "Ten's tears fall, and I call. Nine hundred trees, but only one is for me. Eight times eight times eight they fly, whatever you do, don't stay dry. Seven ladies dancing, ignore their sweet romancing. Six seconds to hide, up, up, and you'll survive. Five times four times three, and that is where he'll be. Two I'll save, I'll be brave, brave, brave. The one I adore, I'll come back for."

  As she sings, she smooths the hair from my face, gentle, so gentle. Such a contrast to the horror she just visited upon me.

  I don't... I can't... I can't speak. Can't breathe.

  Still she sings. "Ten's tears fall, and I call. Nine hundred trees, but only one is for me."

  Suddenly I'm falling...falling...landing with a thud on the forest floor. Air leaves my lungs in a white-hot burst, making me dizzy, but I scramble to my feet and, blinking rapidly, scan my newest surroundings.

  Welcome back to the Realm of Many Ends.

  The gnarled trees sigh happily. The toothy plants grin, as if eyeing me with mental forks and knives. The ember-bugs sting me, and I yelp. Today the sky isn't quite so dark, but that isn't exactly a good thing. There are thick yellow clouds in the sky, undulating violently.