The Harder You Fall Read online

  After she reverently anchored the bracelet around her wrist, next to the watch, she tore into the second box, revealing the Drogo costume he'd bought--in his size. A laugh burst from her.

  "It's lingerie, but it's not for you," he said and wiggled his brows. Every second, a little more of his nervousness drained away. "I'll wear it, and you'll cross off one of the items on your bucket list."

  "It's absolutely perfect. I love it!"

  He loved her delight.

  "Last but not least." Shreds of paper flew in every direction as she unwrapped the final gift. When she opened the box, she frowned with confusion. "It's wonderful and I adore it, but...what is it?"

  "A flash drive. I've been working on a new game, and you, Jessie Kay Dillon, are the star of it."

  She gaped at him. "Wait. Did you just say I'm the star of a new game? Oh, my gosh. West! Tell me everything. Every detail!"

  "A war between demons and humans. You, of course, are the angel of mercy." He explained the ins and outs, and she listened raptly.

  "An angel. Me." Her trembling hand flattened over her heart. "Lincoln. I don't know what to say."

  She'd used his first name again and he knew, deep down, it meant something. Something significant. He just didn't know what.

  "These are the best gifts I've ever received, but now I don't want you to open yours. It doesn't compare." She tried to snatch the box away from him. "I'll get you something else."

  "No way," he said, holding it out of reach. "I want this one."

  "Gimme!"

  "This is happening. Get used to the idea fast."

  "But...but..."

  Keeping her at bay with one hand, he peeled back the red-and-green paper with the other. He popped open the lid of a large white box...and found a blanket folded inside. She settled as he shook out the material--

  And stopped breathing.

  "I spent all night sewing the panels together," she said quietly. "That's what I was doing in the shed."

  The entire cloth was covered in pictures of him. Jessie Kay smiled from many of them, doing her best to photobomb while also sneakily taking the pictures. There were images of him at work, images of him at home. The ones he'd taken at the club, when their faces had been mushed together--their victory photos. There were a few of him sleeping, two of him playing soccer.

  "You once told me no one cared enough about you to take photos," she said. "I wanted you to know I do... I care."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  IN THE ENSUING DAYS, Jessie Kay decided dating West was like playing chess. Not that she knew how to play chess. But honestly? Her lack of knowledge only made the analogy more accurate.

  She doubted any amount of experience--with chess or guys--would have prepared her for West. He was in a class by himself.

  After the gift exchange, after he'd hugged her and kissed her and thanked her with tears in his beautiful eyes, an uneasy tension had grown between them. They'd ended up having an impersonal breakfast with the others. They'd watched movies, played her new video game--it rocked!--spent time with Daphne and Hope when the two arrived, and sat next to each other at dinner. But they hadn't held hands or even flirted.

  The next evening--every evening after that, in fact--he gave her another soccer lesson. The physical interaction always stimulated them both. They'd take a shower together, and they would pleasure each other with their hands and mouths, but they wouldn't have sex.

  The lack was beginning to hurt her deep, deep inside.

  Cuddle you without sex because there's nothing he likes better than having you in his arms.

  She wanted to push, but couldn't bring herself to actually do it. The thoughtfulness of his gifts had ripped through whatever shell had still been erected around her heart, leaving her vulnerable in the worst--best-- possible way. In that moment, while she'd held the handmade bracelet, Game of Thrones costume and flash drive, she'd absolutely, utterly fallen for him. Like, jump from a skyscraper, fall at warp speed, land with a splat just as she'd feared--fallen.

  She loved him. Loved him with her whole heart. Nothing held back. He was it for her. The one, the only. The man of her dreams. The man she had always craved.

  Her forever man.

  And the knowledge only solidified when she received a call from the local animal shelter. A thank you for the massive holiday donation made in her name. She hadn't had to ask who'd actually forked over the cash. West, the sweetheart, had listened to her deathbed plan and turned it into a life plan.

  Losing him wouldn't just hurt her. Losing him would destroy her. She would never recover, never be the same. And oh, that scared her more than anything!

  She wondered--hoped--he'd experienced a similar reaction to her gift. That he loved her and was now reeling.

  As another new morning dawned and sunlight streamed into her bedroom, she was surprised to find he wasn't beside her. No lesson, then. She texted Daniel to ask if he wanted to meet for coffee--his YES came only a second later--before showering on her own. She dressed and fastened both the bracelet and watch around her wrist. The thick silver links of the first glittered just as brightly as the diamonds on the second, mesmerizing her with its beauty. The man was beyond talented with his hands.

  Dang it, she wanted her friend back. The one she teased. The one who teased her in return.

  With a sigh, she dragged her feet to the kitchen. A note waited on the kitchen table.

  Kitten,

  Out on a run. I have a very important meeting from 7:00-8:00. No spontaneous calls or texts unless there's an emergency, all right? Think about me today. I'll definitely be thinking of you.

  West

  She left him a note she thought he would appreciate.

  JK's Schedule for the Day

  6:00ish--meet Daniel for coffee and remember the last time West kissed me...wonder when it's going to happen again

  7:00ish--picture West naked

  8:00ish--make my deliveries and wonder if West is imagining ME naked

  10:00ish--track West down and find out

  Whistling a jaunty tune, she grabbed her car keys and strode out of the house.

  She met Daniel as planned and asked his advice--how do I break through West's walls and convince him to ravish me?--and sighed over his simple answer.

  "Pretend you don't want it. He'll be foaming-at-the-mouth eager to change your mind."

  She rolled her eyes. "I'm not playing games with him."

  He shrugged. "You're making my point for me. You're obviously not banging him, either."

  "Someday, some woman is gonna turn your life upside down."

  "No way. I prefer to be right side up while having sex."

  Afterward, she drove to the farmhouse to help her sister make breakfast sandwiches. With Christmas over, it was back to regularly scheduled programming. Sparkles, the mangy mutt, rested at Brook Lynn's feet, sleeping peacefully. Though he did open one eye to glare at Jessie Kay, a warning to behave around his mistress or else.

  "My cat, when he picks me, will totally kick your ass," she muttered at him.

  Brook Lynn smiled at her.

  "Look what I brought." Jessie Kay held up the first bridesmaid dress she'd completed. A spaghetti-strapped sheath with pleats that began at the bustline. The fabric floated down to just above the knees, making the entire thing whimsical and yet classic.

  "Oh, Jessie Kay! It's wonderful."

  "I know." And, crap! It was time to come clean, wasn't it? If she waited for the perfect opportunity to state her case, she'd end up waiting forever.

  Nut up or shut up.

  She draped the dress over a chair. "So...I've been thinking." She heard the extreme volume of her voice--almost a scream--and cringed. Taking a moment to calm, she grabbed a bowl and fork to beat some eggs.

  "Okay, well, thinking is always a good sign," Brook Lynn said.

  Funny girl. "What if I took some time off?"

  "Sure. No big deal. I can get Kenna or Harlow to help me while you're gone." Brook Lyn
n winked at her. "Why? You going to whisk West away for a naughty New Year's?"

  Her first New Year's with West. Her boyfriend. Would they be on better terms? Kiss passionately at midnight?

  "I just... I was thinking about designing dresses again. I've rediscovered my love of sewing. I mean, you remember when I made our dresses out of Dad's old suits, right? I'd like to sell my creations through a website, and West said he'd help me. Though it's probably not a good idea to mix business and pleasure, I really, really, really want to let him do it. Because I want to do it."

  "Oh, sis!" Brook Lynn threw her arms around Jessie Kay and hugged her tight. "Yes! Yes, of course. Do it."

  "Seriously?" That easily?

  "I never wanted you to live my dream. I've always wanted you to live your own. So, again--yes, yes, of course. Oh, and I'll consider this your two weeks notice."

  Tears of gratitude filled her eyes, spilling onto her cheeks. The crybaby thing had been happening a lot lately. In the shower when she was alone. While doing her makeup. While picking out her clothes for the day. She'd gotten good at sobbing silently so that West wouldn't hear her. And she wasn't pregnant. She was on the pill and besides that, she and West hadn't yet had sex. Her stupid emotions were in turmoil and getting the best of her, that was all. Once the tension between them eased, she'd go back to her normal self.

  "You're too good to me," she told her sister. "I mean it. You should rail at me for leaving you and swear you'll never forgive me. Something! Anything!"

  Brook Lynn rolled her eyes. "What is there to forgive? I'm beyond happy for you."

  "Yeah, but I'll be leaving you in the lurch. There's no one in the world who will be a better employee than me."

  "I'll find a way to persevere," Brook Lynn replied drily.

  Jessie Kay bumped her hip. "At least you'll finally get to live your dream of interviewing people and asking outlandish questions."

  "Yes, and the first will be, 'If you were a bowl of cereal, what would you be and why?'"

  "Cheerios. Obviously. I'm classic and traditional."

  Brook Lynn fought a grin, failed. "You are Froot Loops, no doubt about it."

  "Well, this Froot Loop is going to miss spending so much time with you."

  "We'll make sure to have a slumber party at least one night a week."

  "I would love a slumber party."

  They hugged again then worked alongside each other for several minutes, silent but in sync. Happy! Movement caught her eye--a flash of black--but as she gazed out the window that looked into the backyard, she saw only the sway of tree limbs.

  "Are things still strained between you and West?" Brook Lynn asked.

  She'd noticed. That obvious, huh? "Yeah. I think we hit a new emotional level, and it scared us both."

  "The same thing happened with Jase and me. As soon as we stopped fighting it..." Her sister shivered. "My mind is still being blown by a serious case of the feels."

  She made it sound so easy. Just, snap and I'm over it, let's do this. "I happen to carry a little more baggage than you."

  "That's your problem. You carry your baggage rather than leaving it behind."

  "I would love to leave it behind, but how--"

  An alarm screeched to sudden life, sending jolts of shock through her. She spun in a circle, her mind trying to make sense of what was happening...until a pungent waft of smoke hit her nostrils and she figured it out in a hurry. Something was on fire.

  Grimacing in pain, Brook Lynn turned the devices in her ears to silent. "Jase!"

  Jessie Kay grabbed the girl and forced her to the floor. Jase was here--crap. Where was he? The thickening smoke drifted from the back end of the house, where the bedrooms were located, and she coughed. She pulled her sister forward, toward the front door. She'd get Brook Lynn outside, away from the danger, then go back in for Jase.

  "Jase!" Brook Lynn wasn't keen on waiting. "Jase!"

  Expression as hard as steel, he came barreling toward them. "You okay, angel?"

  "I'm fine. We're fine."

  He hefted Brook Lynn into his arms. "Stay directly behind me, Jessie Kay." He had to shout to be heard over the alarm.

  "Okay."

  "What about Beck and Harlow?" Brook Lynn demanded.

  "They're already on their way out."

  The moment they cleared the front door, she breathed deeply of the cold, clean air. Jase lowered Brook Lynn beside Harlow, who sat at the end of the driveway, peering at the farmhouse with horror while tears poured down her cheeks. Beck cradled her close with one arm and held a phone to his ear with the other. Probably 911.

  He hung up, looked at Jessie Kay with the same steel as Jase. "Do not let her back inside."

  "I won't. Promise."

  Then, as Harlow protested, he raced into the backyard with Jase. Intending to fight the fire?

  Harlow, who wore a tank top and a pair of boxer shorts, choked on a sob. This was her childhood home, where she'd made memories with the mom she'd lost earlier in the year...where she planned to raise her child. And she had to be freezing her butt off.

  "Stay here. I mean it." Jessie Kay raced to her car to grab the coat she'd left inside it. Back with the girls, she wrapped the material around Harlow's shoulders. "We can't see the flames." Only the smoke. "There might not be that much damage."

  "But...but...how did this happen?" she asked through her sobs.

  "I don't know. Faulty wiring?" But hadn't Jase torn down walls, replaced the wires and pipes and put everything back together? He wasn't one to half-ass a job.

  "Whatever damage is done," Brook Lynn said, "Jase can fix it. He can fix anything. It'll be okay."

  Sirens sounded in the distance, claiming her attention. Jase and Beck returned to the front lawn, soot streaking their faces, their T-shirts soaked with water.

  "It's out, baby," Beck said, crouching in front of Harlow. "It was a small fire, contained to West's bathroom."

  "Won't take longer than a day or two to fix," Jase added. "Especially if I hire out."

  "Really?" Relieved, Harlow collapsed into Beck's chest.

  Jessie Kay flattened her hands over her stomach. West's bathroom. Thank the good Lord he'd moved in with her. If he'd been here, perhaps in the shower, distracted... She shuddered with horror. Even the thought of him in danger sickened her.

  "Did a wire short out or something?" she asked.

  "It's possible," Beck said. But the boys shared a hard look, making her think it wasn't likely.

  "We'll let the firemen tell us what happened," Jase said.

  What the heck was going on?

  The Strawberry Valley firefighters studied the damage and took notes. With the danger officially over, Jessie Kay's rush of adrenaline crashed, leaving her weak and shaky. She wanted West's arms wrapped around her. He would make her forget that something bad had happened. But when she dialed his number, she went straight to voice mail.

  Why-- The meeting, she remembered. Right. But...he wouldn't not answer, right? He was too much of a worrier, and he'd told her to call only if there was an emergency. Well, this was definitely an emergency.

  She dialed his number again...went straight to voice mail.

  He's...ignoring me? Has to be.

  Either he doesn't trust me or I'm not as important to him as I thought.

  "I need to call my customers," Brook Lynn said, "and tell them orders are canceled today."

  "Okay," she said, barraged by waves of hurt and anger. "I--" What? Can't stay here. "I'm going into the city to buy fabric for my first line of dresses." A distraction. Perfect.

  "No, no. Don't go. Not until we know what happened."

  "I need to leave." Before she broke down. Before Jase and Beck came out and tried to stop her.

  Her sister must have realized something more was going on. She gave a reluctant nod. "Call me later."

  "I will." She typed a text to West.

  Hope you're enjoying the meeting. There was a small fire at the farmhouse. Want to know how I am?
Well, too bad!

  Send.

  She hugged her sister, said, "I'll see you later, okay?" and climbed into her car.

  Roughly five minutes later, her cell phone rang. West's number appeared on the screen. A screen she turned off, letting him go to voice mail.

  He called again...aaand she let him go to voice mail again.

  When she reached her destination, curiosity got the better of her and she checked the messages. In the first, he sounded concerned: "I'm so sorry, kitten. I thought you were playing games. I should have known better. Where are you? I need to hear your voice."

  In the second, he sounded ticked. "I told you what I'd be like. Don't shut me out." Click.

  Her anger redoubled. Don't shut him out? Jerk! He'd already shut her out.

  Almost rebelliously she toured the first fabric store...which was too expensive for her, but extremely inspiring. The patterns were amazing. She took pictures on her phone and emailed herself ideas, losing herself in the possibilities. That one would make a gorgeous day dress. Capped sleeves. Straight bustline. Belted waist. Horizontal ruffles, three rows. Hem just above the knees. Very flirty. Pair it with the right necklace and shoes, and bam, the lucky buyer would be ready for a night on the town.

  Feminine murmurs rose throughout the store, some scandalized, some titillated. She glanced up from her typing and frowned. What was--? Then she saw him. Lincoln West, his narrowed gaze pinned to her as he stalked forward, ignoring everyone else. He was tall, strong, more beautiful than ever, dressed in a partially buttoned collared shirt and wrinkled black slacks. No tie, no jacket. His dark hair stuck out in spikes, as if he'd toweled off excess moisture and let the strands dry naturally.

  Her heart thundered in her chest. Nothing about his expression said "civilized" or even "reasonable." The man coming for her had no polished veneer--it had been ripped away, leaving the animal beneath.

  She lifted her chin, held her ground. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

  "I talked to Brook Lynn." The words were thrown at her like daggers. "There are only so many fabric stores in the area. Finding you wasn't difficult."

  "Well, you should have stayed in Strawberry Valley. I needed time away from you."

  "Don't worry. You'll get it, but not here and not now. Monica set the fire. Until she's found, you need an escort."

  What! "How do you know she--"

  "If you'd bothered to answer my call--" he began.